Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Lost Art


     I remember when I was little and my parents were teaching us the basics of manners and etiquette. Chew with your mouth closed, no elbows on the table, say please and thank you and always respect your elders. These were just to name a few of the most basic of manners. On a recent trip to get my eyebrows waxed I opened a door for an elderly lady and her inside. This is something that just came naturally to me, not to much thought did I need in order to assist someone with something so simple. What opened my eyes to the possible deterioration in manners was her surprise at my gesture.

" Thank you, rarely anyone will hold a door for you anymore and I hope someone will do this for you one day."

Has opening a door become a lost art? In the last few years or decades have parents stopped showing little boys how to become gentleman or little girls how to become young ladies? With society rapidly changing and social interaction becoming less and less interactive, have we missed the small things that make the big difference?

I used the phrase art because being taught these things isn't something you are born with. It is something you are taught.  Raising kids is hard enough these days but add to that the parents who are to busy finger swiping their phones instead of teaching their offspring to behave like humans and I fear that soon we will be left with only self absorbed children who won't remember to go out of their way!

If I was to use mass transit would I now see the elderly, pregnant women and mothers with toddlers standing and holding a rail and a bunch of slouched trouser teens taking up the seats and searching thru their smart phones?

I have worked hard to bestow my 3 year old with how to say please and thank you. The very first time that she used it correctly, I was overjoyed. What I am curious of is when she starts pre-school, will the same be true of her classmates. It seems like such a small thing to notice and maybe to others it seems like "no big deal" but for me when that kind lady said that she hopes someone will do the same for me I wondered if they would. 

I worry about sending my girls into the world and I still hope that on the first date the boy walks to the door so we can meet him, shake his hand and worry just slightly less about her being on a date. I am not sure what I would do if upon arriving he honked his horn, yelled out his window and took off before she was safely seated. Now I wouldn't let her get near a young man with that behavior but what if that is the only thing she will have to choose from? 

I know that there are parents out there still teaching good behavior because two weeks ago when my family went to the zoo a little boy opened a door for me and held it when I went thru with the stroller. He was so cute and I was so impressed so I stopped and said to his mommy that she had a very sweet little boy. When I looked ahead I noticed her husband was also holding a door for someone and my hope was renewed. If this little guy grows up and wanted to take one of my girls on a date I would be happy because it was obvious that a good example was being set at home. When I complimented her child she was beaming and was proud. I realized that all is not lost and that hopefully doors will still be opened I just hope that the numbers of doors will once again be on the rise instead of the decline!

Cell phones down, eyes up, are you teaching and watching and nurturing with all the tools that you were given when you were growing up? There is nothing more important than the lessons we can teach.

It has been a long time since I was able to sit for a moment and share so thank you for returning and I am sorry for my absence. These sweet faces have kept this mommy very busy.


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Thursday, July 3, 2014

An Apology to Stay at home mom's


  If you haven't read my series on Stay at Home Moms then please do. I had four wonderful guest hosts and they each wrote a different view on staying at home. Here are the stories, just in case you missed them.

When I stumbled across an article today from a dad and it was titled- "My apology to Stay at Home Moms" I knew I had to click and see what this was about. I loved it and I thought it was in perfect timing with our 4 week view on Stay at Home Moms.

"My Apology to Stay at Home Moms"

Here is the thing about staying at home. I am not able to do this and frankly on the weekends by the time the kids go to bed I am EXHAUSTED. My husband and I go to bed some where in the eight o'clock hour because we are exhausted.

I tip my hats to the stay at home moms and I think I might find some working moms to shed another light. It sparked my interest when the topic of "having it all" came up on the Today show.

Can you have it all?

I shall look for some new hostesses for this topic, If you are interested please message me I would love to post your thoughts!

Happy Fourth of July

Friday, June 27, 2014

What does she do all day? - Staying at home!

  There are so many ideas out there about what being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) really entails.  Yes I am a SAHM.  I have also been a full-time working mom as well.  So I have lived both lives!  I am not going to say one is better than the other because they both have their pros and cons.  I also will not say one is easier than the other because they are both difficult in different ways!  Either way we are all just moms trying to do the best that we can!

I do find it very entertaining though when I hear or read the mind sets of people when they think about SAHM's.  I even threw it out to my Facebook friends to see what their experiences have been.  It was all pretty universal!  It truly cracks me up the things people believe to be true!  Here are some awesome examples!!

1)  What do you do all day?!?  You must have sooo much free time!!
Hahahahaha....uhhh NO!  My free time is at night once everyone is asleep.  I am at this point ready to snuggle in my bed and enjoy me some TV greatness (Tru TV and quite possibly my main man Jimmy Fallon)!!  I fall asleep and of course miss the best parts of the shows!  The TV is still on and I am zonked before my husband even walks into our bedroom!!  And what do I do all day?!?  What don't I do is the better question!!  My kids range in age from 10-2 years old!  So I have all of the school age activities and drama that comes with 2 girls who are 10 and 7!  I then have a 2 year old boy thrown in there who's main source of entertainment is scaring the crap out of me and giving me mild heart attacks all day long because he has absolutely no fear of anything!!  He also has to come along with me to everything of the girls!  Anyone with kids knows how fun it is to take a 2 year old to such things as basketball games, dance rehearsals, school plays, or just about anywhere you would pay heavily just to have them sit still and be quiet!  Which we all know doesn't happen!!

Then comes summer break!!  Break? Haha!  That's a joke right?!?  When you live in a neighborhood like mine with about a million kids...your summer break consists of 20 kids running in and out of your house ALL DAY LONG!!  And not just running, but yelling, and stomping, eating all of your food, asking for sleepovers, and just about anything else you can think of!  To add to the husband has a home office!  Now granted...he does travel a lot (which means I also do this all by myself most of the time)!  When he is home this is pretty much how my day goes..."SHHHHH!!  Daddy is on a conference call!  Go outside and play!  I mean it, stay outside!  Go enjoy your childhood...OUTSIDE!!  Come in only to use the bathroom!  Quiet your brother is sleeping!!  Another snack??  SHHHH!!  Well I think you get the point!!

2)  SAHM's get to take naps!!  
Again...Hahahahaha!!  I think in all of my 10 years of being a mom I have taken 2 naps!!  Now obviously my 10 and 7 year olds don't take naps, but my 2 year old does.  Sooo what do I do when he's napping you ask?  Well I am cleaning, doing laundry, figuring out meals, refereeing my other children, and so forth and so on!!  Yes I do get on my phone and scroll around FB too!  Ok and maybe Pinterest too!!  That is my about my only entertainment people!!

3)  SAHM's don't actually "work"! 
I won't even entertain this!  Everyone knows we work!  We work hard!  We work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no vacations, and very little breaks!  Even family vacations...Ha!  Again anyone with kids knows that a vacation with kids is NO vacation for parents!  But that's it's own blog in itself!!  If you or anyone you know actually believe SAHM"s don't work...please don't ever say it to any of us!!  We will literally want to drop kick you with every last bit of energy we may have left in our exhausted little bodies!! 

I will tell you one thing being a SAHM has done for me! I am the master of time management now!! I can literally get myself showered, dressed, hair and make-up done...all 3 kids showered, dressed, hair done, shoes on and bags packed...all in the time my husband takes to finish up his shower!! I don't know how it's possible to be that slow...but my husband wins the prize!!

So to sum it all up...Yes I absolutely love being a SAHM!  I have amazing memories I will always hold dear to my heart!  Yes I sometimes miss working outside of the home.  There is something to be said for adult interaction and a sense of self that is separate from the role of "Mom".  No I wouldn't change being home with my kids these past almost 5 years!!  It's been a roller coaster ride for sure!!  Scary and crazy at times, but at the end you always hear yourself saying..."Let's do that again"!!

Kathy has previously hosted at Happily Ever Rushed and you can read the amazing story of her daughter Brooklyn and the very first reason that brought her home.

Thank you to my wonderful friends who stay at home and do all the millions of things that mommies do every day. I love that you all took time out of your busy schedules to share your thoughts on staying at home. Four different views from four amazing mothers. 

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